In a time when it seems like our country is at war with anyone and everything, and our economy is spitting junk at us like $2.35/gallon gasoline, people are turning more and more toward deep, meaningless, spiritual junk. Yeah Otto, you're right, if I were to pray to God more, he might lower gas prices a little. Shut up.

God or any other spiritual bull won't fix our oil problems. What will is going up to Alaska, clubbing some seals, and getting what's rightfully ours... a huge oil reserve. When was the last time a baby seal got you from work to home? That's what I thought, it didn't. So I say we send the National Guard in there and mow down a couple thousand seals, and tap some of that sweet sweet oil.

"You don't make my car go, so you've got to go."

Now all these hippies are throwin' a fit saying that we're destroying a natural wildlife refuge by doing this. To them, I say, "could be worse. We could actually use the animals as oil." Now there's a great idea. We could get rid of those pesky animals that always seem to find their way in to our ocean oil spills, and run our cars with them! Man, I should work for NASA or something.