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State Fair Secrets

So I was at the state fair the other day, and came across these sheep in the barn. They looked cute and furry and stuff at first, but then you start looking at them and you realize they're not that sweet an innocent after all. The content you're about to see may be offensive.

I present to you, the first known sheep Klansman...

Larry the Nigga Hatin' Sheep eats hay during the day, and eats black people by night. State Fair goers got a surprise when Larry ate Mayor Michael Coleman for dinner one evening. Silly Larry. In the background you can see Ecstasy, the Jew Hatin' Sheep. She's a bad mother, with a bad temper. Fo sho.

I found Larry and Ecstasy to be nice additions to the Fair this year, but what really made my day was when I came across Sammy Scrotum and the Sammy Scrotum Family. How in the hell does this sheep walk?

I wish this were a photoshopped picture. This is 100% original, this is Sammy Scrotum, the big nutted sheep. Not to be mistaken for GotBuckey.com mascot Big Buck Nuts. Sammy's sleeping, because he's so damn tired from carrying around his humongous balls all day. After visiting with Sammy for a while, I thought I'd seen the most awesome display of God's power since the Buckeye's won the national championship in Tempe. But then I moved over one stall and met Sergeant... the wise old sheep made of wool... and lots of it.

Sergeant has hairy balls, plain and simple. I guess that's what happens when you become old and wise. Sergeant was telling me of his platoon of soldiers that were stuck on Iwo Jima fighting gooks off for 6 years when I spotted a pair of brothers, coupled together, trying to eat their way to freedom. Introducing Bubba and Buddy Joe.

Bubba on the left, and Buddy Joe on the right were captured by farmers in '98, '99', '00, and '03 while trying to escape the farm. Bubba chewed a mans arms off once to get free, and Buddy Joe slapped a farmers wife in the face once with his enormous man package. Fugitives for life. Before I left the barn, I stopped to see the ring leader of all of the sheep. His name is Kingpin.

He gets his name not only from the fact that he has the largest set of testicles known of any animal in the world, but because his balls really do look like a pair of bowling pins. Sick. Kingpin later humped the sheep next to him with so much thunderous force that the barn collapsed. Thank God I wasn't in there.