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Here's Your Future

No college education? No job? Still living at home? Congratulations, here's your future:

Mixing concrete. You ARE that guy on the left. Sun up till sun down you work for $300 a month, mixing concrete and scratching your ass. Not good enough for you? Cause we all know that since you decided "school isn't cool," you expect only the best. And you're right...

That's right, you're deserving of a much more lavish position. You're Ronald McDonald's drive thru bitch. People who run drive through windows are very respectable. Such people like Iynne Lmler (Super Bitch) have graced the drive through window with their presence. And we all know she's going somewhere in life. With perks like a maxed out wage of $6 an hour, who would want to give up that job? Still not satisfied with your career choices? There's always one more famed position...

You could be the head bagger at a fine establishment like Kroger. Ride your bike to work every day, live with your parents, masturbate on the clock! Nothing's sweeter than that. And with a locked hourly rate of $6.25 an hour, you're sure to make more money bagging groceries than being a bitch at Burger King.

So why do I mention all of this? Because these are your job choices if you've decided not to go to college and hope that you and your boyfriend, who makes $4.55 an hour working at some theater, can make it in life. Your answer... no, you can't make it. One day you'll be hired by someone like me to pick up the dog turds in the yard... and you'll like it. Your decision to be a bum for life will result in you living in the same little town all your life, with the same little friends who kiss your feet because you have more teeth than them. Your life will revolve around when the welfare check comes in the mail, and how much they put on your food stamp card for the month. Each time the phone rings, you'll move to a different side of town to avoid the bill collectors. That '90s style car you're driving will be the same thing you're driving when you're 50. And best of all... your significant other will end up leaving you for a member of the same sex. Why? All because you though college wasn't worth it. News flash: you're not worth it.

I feel better now.