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Hey Woman, Where's My Pie?

I've come to the conclusion that women are good at two things. Making me dinner, and birthing my babies. Try talking to a woman about your day. What do you get back? "Oh, that's nice, guess what happened to ME today?" Huh? I thought we were talking about how my grandma got hit by a jumbo jet today? Whatever, woman.

Women drive like shit. They either drive too slow, or try putting on their makeup behind the wheel. Look at the woman in that picture. Don't you just want to punch her in the face? I hate her. WOMAN IN THE PICTURE, I HATE YOU. Because of that picture, women around the country thought they were worth something and decided to start working and get a career, instead of staying home and making my dinner and birthing my babies.

Since when has it been ok for women to watch TV? Let alone blow us off to watch some gay TV show like Big Brother. Reality TV has corrupted dinner time everywhere for hard working guys like me. After a long day of kicking the shit out of midgets, I want my steak piping hot and my beer cold. But when I get home, there's that woman... sitting in front of the TV, crying her eyes out because some asshole just got "evicted" from the house. That's when I look at her and say, "woman, if you don't get up and finish dinner, I'm bout to evict you from Earth. You just need to stay home all day making my dinner, and birthing my babies!" (See a continuation on Dr. Buckey)

Middle of November rolls around, and there you are, watching the Ohio State/Michigan game from your living room (because other people have tickets to the big game). Right before kick off, the phone rings and it's your vaginal unit, just calling to see how you're doing. You raise out of your seat, and get in your AMERICAN MADE car. After running over the neighbor's cat, you floor it to her house, pull her outside and give her the ass kicking of a life time for calling during the game.

I know all of this sounds like I hate women, and that's just not true. I do love women, I really do. They're great... especially when they're making my dinner and birthing my babies.