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Ugly: That Means You're Screwed

Ugly people have historically not had a chance at life. If you're ugly, you'll get stuck with another ugly person. Then you'll definitely have no chance of having a good life, because that ugly person can't make anything of themselves.

Name one ugly, SUCCESSFUL Hollywood actress. None.

Name one ugly person with money. Still waiting.

Name one ugly cheerleader.

Name one ugly president (I mean REALLY ugly).

Meet Holly McJordan. Never got asked to a school dance, never got kissed, never even got picked to answer a question in math class. This picture was snapped in 1990. So where's Holly now? Holly works at McDonalds. She's not even allowed to cook hamburgers, they have her sweeping the rat traps in the back. Of course she still lives at home, and she eats her own boogers.

Meet Stephen Tylermoor. Stephen was semi-popular in elementary school because he told everyone he was a distant cousin of Steven Tyler... he claimed his family didn't want the fame, so they added "moor" in the end of their name. Turns out, Stephen's a lying asshole. Stephen was frequently beat and left in the dumpster behind the school, once he got in high school. Once he asked the Homecoming queen to Prom, and she beat his ass too. Stephen tried to fit in with the Star Wars groups, but he was too ugly for even them. Now Stephen's serving a life scentence for dismembering a lunch lady his senior year.

Meet J'Marcus Hyleberry. J'Marcus was a star football player, his 4th grade year. Then he got hit hard in a game by a 18 year old 4th grader. J'Marcus turned ugly. He kept the smashed in helmet as a souvenir, and eventually started making love to the ear hole of the helmet. Kids would punch him in the face for fun as he walked down the hallways. J'Marcus eventually turned homosexual, but even the homos didn't want him. Today J'Marcus lives underneath a bridge in Washington, DC. It's been rumored he eats small children as they walk home from school. Rumor also has it that he's had relations with Holly McJordan.

See, no ugly people make it in life.