|
| ||||||
| ||||||
|
If I Were President A while back I wrote an article about what I would do with the elderly if I were president. Well, I liked the thought of me being in charge so much, I decided to elaborate even more.
First of all, my number one campaign promise is to make sure I personally execute every female with an IQ below 100. I myself have an IQ last quoted by NASA number crunchers as "really f'n high," or 749874987164634.23, so I know what I'm talking about. Eliminating ditzy, stupid, airheaded, crack ho's like the one pictured above would double the quality of life for me. And really, that's all that matters.
Free condoms for everyone in West Virginia. AIDS will be single handedly wiped out, and incest will be at an all time low. Better yet, an amendment to my proposal... we castrate all males in West Virginia. In case they forget the Trojan, they'll remember that they don't have a man piece anymore.
I would make it legal to beat the shit out of any nun you come across. Nun's have corrupted America's youth with their tales of virginity and pureness. Guess what Mother Theresa, shove it. I don't care what kind of crusade you're on, if I want to enjoy the fruits of a lady, I'll do it, damn it. I saw a nun the other day at the grocery store in the produce section. So what did I do? The only right thing to do when you see a nun in the produce section... talked about the size of some girls' melons. Of course I tried to make it sound like I was talking about the veggies back there, but she wasn't buying it. "I don't like your profanity young man. Would you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Well that just about did it for me, I'd heard enough of her shit. Old nun lady was a goner as far as I was concerned. Enter: Bitch Avenger.
No more nun. Face = Melted. Serves her right. I really was talking about the watermelon. But if I can stop being serious for a minute, I really do hate kids. So no more kids. There's 280 million people in America. We've got enough people, no more kids.
Legalized lethal execution in every state, via the wood chipper. Capital punishment kicks ass.
This man as secretary of defense.
After enacting all of these laws, I would wage a nationwide war on this person right here, also known as the Succubus. Nothing will stop me in my quest to rid the world of money hungry women. I will activate all National Guard members, start a draft, buy big guns, just to see the demise of the Succubus. Ok, that's all I've got for now. Remember, vote for me.
|
||||||
|
|
