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I Hate Really Fat People

It's a proven fact... I hate really fat people. I'm sure I could go on and on and on about how much I just want to yell in their faces really loud and tell them they need to stop eating so much. There's been a few suggestions I've had. There's the Terri Schiavo diet. No one listened. Hell, I even indirectly endorsed Dr. Phil's diet ideas, just because that guy gets to tell people they're fat on national television... and get paid.

How do fat people have sex? Seriously. Take a look at this guy...

You're telling me he gets laid? What's funny is most extremely obese people are married, which is kind of opposite of what you'd think. So if he's married, he must have sex, right? Wrong. He at his wife. And now, as shown, he has to carry his big ass gut in a wheel barrel. Funny fat man.

What about showering? The overly fat have a lot of skin, some of which they've never seen. I really want to know how they do it. Not to mention the size of their showers. I know that mine is only wide enough to accommodate me... and that's it. Do they make fat people showers?

All of these are questions I thought would never be answered... at least until I realized that I'm the smartest person alive and answered them myself.

Q: How do fat people shower?

A: They don't

Q: How do fat people sleep together in a king size bed?

A: They don't

Q: How do fat people manage to go out in public without being beaten?

A: They don't

Q: Why don't fat people just stop eating so much, and lose the weight?

A: Because they're stupid.

Q: Is there any intelligence relation between fat people and blonde women?

A: They're both equally as stupid.

Q: What are fat people good for?

A: Sandbagging for floods, blocking for running backs, eating things I don't want to, medical experiments, emptying swimming pools with cannonballs.

I'm guessing I have a lot of fat people mad right now. But you know what... I really don't care. I can run faster than you. If you're tired of being made fun of, lose weight. Or jump from a building.

This is what I think of you, fatty.